I Feel Like Waking Up
by Ackleholic89
Summary: My version of what happens right after 5A ends. Stiles is waiting for his father to come out of surgery. In the meantime, he's got plenty to think about and no one to talk to.


_**AN: Hello, everyone! This is my first Teen Wolf fic, so please be gentle. Stiles is by far my favorite character, and I absolutely LOVED the Void!Stiles story arc. I wanted to kind of explore everything that he's been going through this first part of season 5. When I started this fic, I knew three things: I knew it was going to be a one shot, I knew how it was supposed to begin and I knew how it was supposed to end. Somewhere in the middle it kind of morphed into it's own thing, and while it's still a one shot, it's a little longer than what I originally intended. Please let me know what you think! I love reviews!**_

 _ **This is my version of what happens after season 5A left off.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I am not Jeff Davis, but working with that man for just one day would be amazing.**_

Stiles watched as his father was wheeled on a gurney through a set of double doors that he wasn't allowed to go through. He took several deep breaths and backed up against the wall. Running his hands through his hair, he slowly slid down.

As soon as he had seen his father's unconscious body lying on the ground he had been running on adrenaline. The past half hour had been a complete blur, and part of him wasn't even sure if it had actually happened.

He slowly held out his hands palms up. Five fingers on each shaky, bloodied hand. He tried not to think about the blood. _His father's blood._ He knew if his mind lingered too long on the thought, he'd send himself into a panic attack.

Before he had time to think, he realized he was in the bathroom, running his hands under hot water, scrubbing harder than he should. Angry thoughts ran through his head. He hated that Scott didn't believe him, that taking Donovan's life was not his intentions; he hated Theo for pitting them against each other, and for being a sociopathic freak just trying to get a rise out of him; he hated Derek for disappearing and not being there when they needed him; but most of all, he hated himself for being weak, for being susceptible, for being _human_. He hated himself for letting Void Stiles make an appearance tonight, however brief it might have been.

"Hey, man. You okay?" He heard it distantly, but it brought him out of his thoughts for a moment. He looked up at the guy who had just walked into the bathroom, then looked down at his hands in confusion. They were still red, but no longer stained by blood. Steam rose out of the sink from the heat of the water, and he was sure his hands would be stinging once all of the adrenaline wore off.

"Yeah." He said, finally finding his voice. "I'm fine." He turned the water off, and looked up at himself in the mirror in front of him. Tears streaked his cheeks, and his eyes had dark circles underneath them. The longer he stared, it seemed, the the darker the circles became until they were a sickly dark. Stiles slammed his palms into his eyes and rubbed vigorously then looked back in the mirror. His face looked normal now, slightly red from the crying and the rubbing, but normal. He got out of the bathroom and paced the hall for awhile.

He finally looked at his phone for the first time in several hours. No missed calls, no missed texts. Part of him thought that was strange, but he rationalized it in his head. No one knew his dad had been hurt. He hadn't texted anybody and they probably had other things to worry about. Something gnawed in the pit of his stomach, but he chocked it up to worrying about his dad.

He thought about texting Scott. He needed his best friend. But then, were they still best friends? It was only one fight, but it was a pretty big fight. Stiles was pretty pissed at Scott for not letting him explain, for taking Theo's word over his. But then again, Scott did have his reasons. Stiles knew he should have told Scott what happened with Donovan when it happened. It was his own fault for planting that seed of doubt in Scott's head. So really, should he still be mad at Scott? _I should suck it up and just text him._ He thought. He went to Scott's messages and started to text when he thought about how the fight ended. Scott had walked away. It was Scott who had the problem with Stiles, not the other way around. So would Scott even respond to a text from Stiles? He cleared the screen. He didn't think he was in the right frame of mind to take that risk. Part of him just knew that Scott would be there as soon as Stiles called, the other part of him wasn't sure if he would survive if he never heard back. Not knowing the outcome was a lot more bearable than knowing the outcome wasn't the one he wanted.

Stiles ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he plopped down on a chair in the waiting room. He scrolled through his contacts and saw Lydia's name first. Before he had time to talk himself out of it, he hit "call." It rang several times before he got her voicemail.

" _Hey, it's Lydia! You know what to do!"_

Stiles took a deep breath as he heard the _beep_. "Hey, Lydia. It's me. Stiles." He sighed, "It's Stiles. I uh...I was hoping I could talk to you. Um..Scott and I... we got into fight and Theo..." His voice faded and he took another deep breath to collect his thoughts. "My dad is in the hospital. He's in surgery and I just...I just wanted to talk to you, so... just call me back... It's Stiles. Bye." Stiles hung up and groaned. It was probably for the best that Lydia didn't answer. He didn't need to burden her with all of his issues. He scrolled once more and saw Malia's name. His thumb hovered over her name before he finally just locked his screen. As much as she had learned since she had turned back into a human, this was above what they had talked about, and Stiles didn't think he had the patience to tell her how she was supposed to respond while he poured his heart out.

Stiles glanced toward the double doors. No one had gone in or out of them in quite some time. It was making him nervous. He closed his eyes for a moment and was immediately met with a flash of Theo's eyes, full of glee as Stiles punched him. Stiles's eyes popped open and he sat upright. Apparently, he had fallen asleep- for how long, he didn't know, but there were new faces in the waiting room. Stiles stood up and walked over to the desk.

"Hey, I was just... my dad was brought in here earlier. They were taking him to the OR and I don't know how long it's been, but I wasn't sure if you knew anything?"

"What's his name?"

"John Stilinski. S-t-i-l-i-n-s-k-i." Stiles drummed his fingers on the counter while the woman typed his father's name in her computer.

"I'm sorry, there's no update yet, but I'll let you know when I hear something."

Stiles sighed, "Thanks."

He looked at his phone again. The battery was now at 20% and he didn't bring his charger with him. Stiles groaned and ran both hands on either side of his head, still clutching the phone. He could go home and get the charger, but what would happen if his dad came out of surgery by then? He needed to be there. But what if Lydia tried to call him back...or Scott? With a frustrated yell, he pulled both hands away from his head and threw his phone as hard as he could, almost immediately regretting the decision, and winced as it landed against the wall.

"Sir!" The nurse at the desk called to him sternly.

"Sorry." Stiles said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and walked over to his phone. His phone with the shattered screen and the chipped exterior that was no longer turning on. "Well isn't that just friggin fantastic." he mumbled to himself. He stared at his phone for a moment, unsure of what to do with it. He could stick it in his pocket, but with a shattered screen, that was an accident waiting to happen. As he stared at the screen, his reflection stared back at him.

There was an odd disconnect he felt as he stared at the phone. In fact, this reflection looked like there was a hint of a smirk playing at his lips and Stiles knew for a fact, he was in no smiling mood. All of a sudden, the Stiles staring back from the phone screen cocked his head to the side, even though Stiles knew he hadn't moved a muscle. He dropped his phone in a panic and it landed in the small trashcan in the waiting room.

 _Just as well._ He thought. It was useless to him now anyway. Stiles fell back onto a chair with a frustrated sigh. What was he going to do now? He was already fidgety as it was, and now he didn't have a phone to keep him occupied. He probably could have found a charger. There were hundreds of people in the hospital. Chances are at least one of them would have the charger that he needed and would be willing to let him borrow it. _If I just wouldn't have been so quick-tempered..._ he thought to himself. He ran his fingers through his hair for what seemed like the 12th time that night.

He felt tears spring to his eyes and he clenched them shut to stop them from spilling over.

* * *

" _Stiles!" Stiles looked around. How did he get into the woods? This had to be a dream. He took a few steps forward following the voice. "Stiles! Over here!"_

" _Lydia?" He mumbled to himself, then called her name louder. "Lydia!" He took off in a sprint to find her, weaving between trees, jumping over fallen branches, until finally he reached a clearing. Lydia was standing there in the open area, the nemeton right behind her._

" _Lydia? What are you doing?"_

" _Stiles!" She seemed happy to see him, but happiness to turned to fear and he could see that she had been crying. "I can't move."_

" _What? Why not?"_

" _I don't know. I think Theo did something."_

" _God, what else is that bastard going to do?"_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _He- He hurt my dad."_

" _What happened? Is he okay?"_

" _I don't know. I called you to tell you about it, but I guess you haven't listened to your messages yet."_

" _I already told you, Stiles. I can't move. I've been here for hours."_

" _Yeah, but- wait. I'm dreaming. Lydia, this is a dream."_

" _Not exactly."_

" _What's that supposed to mean? I'm literally at the hospital right now."_ _Lydia looked as if she was realizing something. "Lydia? What is it?"_

 _She looked back at him."I'm here too."_

" _What?"_

 _Suddenly, Lydia let out an ear-piercing scream._

Stiles jolted awake. "Lydia!" He quickly stood and ran toward the group of doctors and paramedics that stopped moving at the sound of her scream. He finally saw her, sitting straight up on the gurney. He felt like they made eye contact before her eyes rolled back and she fell backwards.

"18 year-old female." The paramedic continued after gaining his composure. "Unresponsive at scene. That was first thing we've gotten out of her.."

"Do you know her?" After a moment Stiles realized that the doctor was speaking to him.

He nodded.

"What did you say her name was?"

"Lydia Martin." Stiles was still in shock from his dream turning into reality. "She has been a patient here before, so you should have her records."

"Thanks." The doctor told him, before they wheeled her away. Stiles walked over to the lady at the desk.

"I haven't heard anything about your dad yet, but as soon as I do, I'll let you know."

"Okay, but can you also keep me updated about her too?"

"Are you family?" She seemed to know the answer already.

"Would you believe me, if I told you 'yes'?"

Her eyes narrowed in mock suspicion. "I'll see what I can do. I'm curious to know, myself. One minute she's completely passed out, and the next she's screaming like a banshee."

"You have no idea." Stiles said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Mr. Stilinski?" Stiles's head popped up and saw a doctor coming toward him.

"We're still in surgery with your father, but I wanted to come out and give you an update."

"Okay." Stiles said as he tried to brace himself for what the doctor would say.

"Your dad's case has been rough. He's coded twice so far, and he's lost a lot of blood. We're still working, but it would really help if we knew exactly what happened."

"I already told you, I don't know! I just found him like that!"

"Okay." He said calmly, as he tried to get Stiles to calm down as well. "I'm going back in there. I just want to let you know, that we're doing everything we can to help your dad."

Stiles nodded and the doctor walked back through the ominous double doors. Stiles kept having to remind himself not to think about anything to do with his dad or Lydia, or just hospitals in general really. He had been doing such a good job with keeping his head above the metaphorical water. The water that symbolized every bad thing that happened to him or to the people around him the past few weeks. Hell, years! Now it just seemed like he was drowning in it. The past few hours he had been making a conscious effort to keep his mouth closed, to not let the water in. But there always comes a point it becomes so unbearable the reflex to inhale can no longer be subdued.

Stiles gasped and fell to his knees, suddenly unable to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" The lady at the desk knelt down next to him.

"I...I can't..." He tried to talk.

"Stiles?" He heard a familiar voice. "Stiles!" He heard the sound of someone running toward him, then felt a comforting hand on his back. "Back away!" She told the people that had crowded around him. He felt her move in front of him and she lifted his face so that he was looking in her eyes. "Stiles, look at me."

"Me-Melissa?" He could hear in his voice that he was crying.

"It's me. Stiles, you're okay."

He shook his head. "My dad...I can't..." Stiles saw the confusion and panic in Melissa's eyes for a moment before she composed herself. Suddenly, Stiles threw his arms around Melissa and began sobbing into her shoulder. Melissa wrapped her arms around him and gently stroked his back. She could feel his entire body convulsing with each sob that escaped. Tears filled her eyes as well. She didn't know the entire story, but seeing him in so much pain broke her heart.

There was no telling how long they were positioned like that, before Stiles finally, slowly pulled away.

"Let's talk." She told him, and he nodded. She motioned to the women at the desk so they would know where to find them and brought him into an exam room. He sat down on the bed and Melissa pulled the chair up so she could sit down. Stiles was briefly reminded of when he came to Melissa while possessed by the nogitsune. She gave him something to help him sleep and he remembered calling her 'Mom.' His head was so messed up then he didn't know his own thoughts from that of the nogitsune's.

"So, what happened?" Melissa asked, pulling Stiles out of his reverie.

"Well, Scott got bit by a werewolf and then everything fell to shit." Melissa raised her eyebrows in surprise at Stiles's candid remark. He saw her reaction and immediately regretted what he said. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I just meant what happened with your dad?"

Stiles shook his head. "I don't know. He's in surgery. All I know is that Theo did something to him, and I think he hurt Lydia too. They brought her in here not too long ago."

"What happened to Lydia?"

"They said she was unresponsive at the scene and when they brought her in she screamed and then passed out again. She told me that she couldn't move, and I-"

"I'm sorry," Melissa interrupted, holding a hand up to stop him. "You just said she was unresponsive right?" Stiles nodded. "Then how did you talk to her?"

"I had a dream about her, or she came into my dream... I don't know how it happened, but in the dream she told me that Theo did something and she couldn't move."

"Right..." Melissa nodded. "Wait, why didn't Scott tell me your dad was in the hospital?"

"Well, I didn't exactly tell him." Melissa couldn't hide the shocked expression that appeared on her face. She didn't have to ask what happened before Stiles launched into the story, starting with Donovan in the sheriff's station.

"So we're in the library," He continued "And he's after me, and I don't know what to do, but I see these metal poles on top of some scaffolding. And I start to climb up and he's right on my heels, and I'm thinking, _This is it. After everything I've been through, this is how I'm going to die._ And somehow I was able to reach the pin and the poles fell. I thought they'd knock him unconscious at best, but that they would at least slow him down long enough for me to get out of there." Stiles got a distant look in his eyes. All he could see was Donovan's face, and part of him was realizing that this was the first time he was actually talking about it with someone.

"Stiles?" He heard Melissa say his name and he suddenly realized he was crying again.

"He uh..." He tried, but his voice broke. "There was..." He tried again. "There was just so much blood."

He couldn't look Melissa in the eyes, but he saw her sympathetic expression. "Oh, sweetheart."

He shook his head. "I called 911. I didn't know what else to do, but by the time they got there, Parrish had gotten to him first and with him missing, there was no point in telling anybody what happened." He felt anger rush through his cheeks, "But then I found out Theo was there. He basically used that information to blackmail me. He told Scott before I had a chance to and...God, Melissa, if you'd just seen the way Scott looked at me."

"Was he mad?"

"Worse. He was disappointed." He sighed. "We had a huge blow up fight, so I didn't think he'd want to hear from me anytime soon."

"Stiles, you and I both know that is not true. If you called Scott right now, he'd be here in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, well...we can't test that theory because I broke my phone and now it's in the trash. So..."

"Well, I'll call him," Melissa started to get her phone out and Stiles put a hand out to stop her.

"Please, don't. You didn't see the look on his face. Part of me always knew that I would have to go through things without Scott one day. Now is just a good of a time to start as any,"

Melissa wanted to tell him how close his living without Scott actually came to reality, but didn't see this as the right time or place. She nodded and moved her hands away from her pockets, still waiting for Stiles to continue talking, because knowing him he wasn't done.

"But, you should let him know about Lydia." His head was down, but he quickly snapped it up, "You should probably call her mom too, because I don't know if anybody has done that yet!" He said in somewhat of a panic.

"I will, Stiles." She said soothingly.

Stiles nodded, then groaned. "I'm just so tired."

"Then go to sleep. I'll let you know when I hear something about either one of them."

"Thank you."

Melissa left the room and Stiles slipped his shoes off and laid back on the bed.

* * *

 _He was back at the nemeton. About 10 feet away, Lydia was sitting on the stump as if waiting for him._

" _There you are!" she said as she looked up and saw him coming toward her._

" _Okay, seriously, how are we doing this?" Stiles asked as he looked around._

" _I don't know." Lydia told him as she she stood._

" _You can move now!" Stiles said with a hint of surprise in his voice._

" _Yeah!" There was an excitement in her voice and she met him halfway and grabbed his hands to pull him back to the stump. "When I screamed, you disappeared and all of a sudden I could move again, so I just sat down and waited for you to come back." They were sitting now._

" _Well, here I am."_

 _Lydia smiled sadly. "Is your dad okay?"_

 _Stiles sighed and shrugged. " I don't know. Melissa is here now, so I know she'll do anything she can to help you guys."_

 _Lydia nodded. "You said it was Theo?"_

 _Stiles scoffed at the name. "Don't even mention his name."_

" _Stiles," Lydia said with a sort of panic in her voice. "He's got his pack."_

" _What?" Stiles turned in surprise._

" _He stuck his claws in my neck to read my memories, but he's not a real werewolf. He's another chimera. That's why I'm in this...state, or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, he brought me here and I could see him go to a few of the chimeras and he injected them with this stuff that brought them back to life. He told them he was their alpha."_

 _Stiles's mind was going a mile a minute trying to digest everything Lydia was telling him. "Which chimeras did he inject?" He asked suddenly and harshly._

 _Lydia was taken aback by the briskness of his voice. "I-I don't know."_

" _ **Think**_ , _Lydia!" He yelled."Was Donovan one of them?"_

" _I don't know. I can't remember."_

" _Well try!"He screamed as he stood up from the stump._

" _I can't!" She yelled and stood up as well, but took a step back from him. "Stiles! What's going on?"_

 _Stiles felt himself going into his second panic attack of the night. If Donovan was alive then Stiles would probably be the first he would want to see, and not just to catch up on old times. Suddenly, he realized where he was. "Wait," He mumbled to himself. "This can't be real. This isn't really happening. I'm in the hospital right now. Wake up, Stiles!"_

" _Stiles, this may be a dream of some sort, but I'm actually here." Lydia tried._

" _Come on, Stiles!" He said to himself again, as he tried to block out her voice._

" _Stiles, don't leave me here alone again!" Lydia was in tears._

" _Shut up, Lydia!"_

" _Just talk to me!"_

" _WAKE UP!"_

 _Suddenly, it was as if the forest had been sucked away from existence. He looked around the white room and a new panic sat in once more._

" _Stiles?" He jumped when he heard her voice and turned back to see Lydia looking around the room._

" _What are you doing here? How are you still here?"_

" _I don't know. You brought me here." She looked around again. "This is where Scott and I found you with the nogitsune."_

 _Stiles thought about it for a moment. "That's right! You've been in my mind before. Maybe that's how you can do this. You can be in my mind, because you've already been here."_

" _Sure, we'll go with that. It makes more sense then anything else I can come up with at the moment."_

 _Stiles nodded, mostly to himself, as he turned back around. "I don't know why I didn't wake up."_

" _Why were you freaking out back there?"_

" _Lydia-"_

" _Stiles, talk to me."_

 _He turned on her and snapped, "I've already lost Scott over it, I can't lose you too!"_

 _She reached out to grab his hand. "You won't lose me. Nothing you say could make you lose me."_

 _Stiles shook his head, and pulled his hand away from hers. Suddenly, the lights in the room dimmed and an entire wall lit up like a movie screen._

 _It was Stiles's memory. Everything was from his point of view, starting with the smoking jeep. "Dammit." His voice echoed in the large room. He was getting out and popping the hood of the jeep._

" _What are we watching?" Lydia turned to look at him. His mouth was slightly agape in shock. Stiles never answered._

 _Lydia finally turned back to look at the screen. As he reached for the duct tape, Lydia felt a sadness and sense of anxiousness creep in. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she realized that she was feeling everything that Stiles felt during this memory._

 _Suddenly, a sharp pain. Both Stiles and Lydia reached for their right shoulders and let out a scream of pain along with the Stiles in the memory. Fear and panic gripped her as Memory Stiles wrestled Donovan off of him, seeing the razor sharp teeth in the palm of Donovan's hand. The screen went black and when it came back, there was a wrench his hand and Donovan was on the ground, but slowly getting up. Suddenly, Memory Stiles was running back into the school he just came out of. He was running down halls and turning at corners just trying to find a place to hide. Lydia felt the terror in her bones, and then a fleeting thought of wishing she had taken Peter up on that offer of the bite. Lydia realized that this too was Stiles's, and she could sense that memory as well. The memory went on. She felt the small relief once he was safely in the library and the heart dropping sensation when Donovan stepped in. She felt the anger rise up over the terror when Donovan called his father a scared bitch and the pain as an entire bookshelf collapsed on top of him. She also felt the dread knowing that this is how he was going to die and wishing he had one last chance to see everyone he loved again: his dad, Scott, Lydia, Melissa, Malia, Kira. She felt a glimmer of hope when he saw the pin holding the poles together- the possibility that he could get out of this alive._

" _No! No! No!" Stiles was saying and tried to make it so Lydia couldn't see the giant screen. "Turn around!" As soon as he told her, the other three walls also lit up, each broadcasting the memory. "Close your eyes! Lydia, please close your eyes!" He begged._

 _She didn't. She watched it all, she felt it all. The relief that it was finally over, the shock of seeing Donovan like that, the fear of realizing he was the one responsible, the guilt of having caused harm to anther person., the haunting familiarity to when he was possessed by the nogitsune. She felt as a light went out in his soul, as if the warm glow turned an icy blue._

 _The picture faded, and the lights in the large white room slowly came back on. Lydia looked at Stiles. He was turned away from her, hands holding the back of his neck. She sniffled and realized she was crying. She moved toward him, walking in front so that she could see his face. He was crying as well and tried to turn his head. He couldn't bare the thought to see the disappointment on Lydia's face just like Scott. Without warning, Lydia pulled him into a hug, the tightest hug he had ever received from her. Even though this was all in his head, he could still feel the hug. That hug made the light in his soul start to glow just a little bit brighter._

" _See." She whispered in his ear. "I told you you wouldn't lose me." Stiles hugged her back. They stood there for a long while before they finally pulled away. "So, Scott?" She asked._

 _Stiles shook his head. "I couldn't figure out how to tell him. Finally, Theo did. I don't know what he said, but Scott thought that I had some sort of choice in the matter."_

" _There was nothing you could do!" Lydia exclaimed. "It was an accident!"_

" _I know! That's what I tried to tell him, but he just kept going on and on about how we're not supposed to kill people."_

" _What did you say?"_

 _Stiles shrugged. "Something about how we all can't be true alphas. That some of us are human."_

 _Lydia was silent a moment. "Does that bother you?"_

" _What?" Stiles asked, caught off guard._

" _Does it ever bother you that you're a human surrounded by supernaturals dealing with the supernatural?" Stiles felt his breath quicken and he lost all words._

" _Why would you ask me that?" He finally got out._

 _Lydia's eyes darted over to the previously lit up wall. "I could feel every emotion and hear every thought. You wished Peter bit you."_

" _No, I-" He stopped himself. There was no point in lying about it. "I mean, I did wish that, but just for a moment. Just so I could have fought back, or got away without hurting him. And then I remember the nogitsune." He paused and took a shaky breath. "I still feel him sometimes."_

" _But he's gone."_

" _Is he?" He countered, and Lydia sucked in a breath. Stiles scoffed. "You know how when people die, everyone says they live on in their work, or their loved ones. Every time I see Scott, I see myself pushing that sword further into his stomach and twisting it so hard I thought the hilt would break off in my hand. When I walk into the station, I see the faces of those people that died when the bomb **I** made went off. Every time I see you, I think about Aiden and Allison." His voice broke as he said her name. "God, I think about Allison all the time. And every time I do, I think about him and how it's his fault she's not here. How it's my fault for letting him in." He took a breath and scoffed once more, "and then people like **Theo** come in, and they break you down and make you so mad that you think the only way to fix it all is to kill him. And when you punch him, he just smiles back at you, like you're feeding right into his hand, which makes you even more pissed off, so you punch him again. Then for a second you wonder 'am I really in control right now? Maybe it's still here. Maybe it never really left.' Because when I punched him," He was no longer speaking hypothetically, "It felt **good**_."

" _I would love to punch him right about now. I'm kind of jealous you got to."_

 _Stiles sighed, "I'm serious, Lydia."_

" _I am too. Look, Stiles, I just told you I felt every single emotion in that memory. If it were still here, that overwhelming guilt you felt- that I'm pretty sure you're still feeling, it wouldn't be there. The nogitsune killed without remorse. You are not him. He's not you."_

 _Stiles's bottom lip was trembling. "But what if I am him? What if just a little part of him stayed behind?" The lights flickered, and Stiles's looked around but his gaze finally landed back on Lydia who never looked away._

 _Lydia cocked her head to the side slowly. She was trying to understand the tone in which he asked the question, but it was coming off mixed. "Are you asking because you're **worried** that he's still here," she paused "Or **hopeful** that he is?"_

 _Stiles's eyes widened. He choked on his words for a moment, then finally stuttered, "I-I-I..." Stiles's brain stopped communication with his mouth. He had a whole dialogue in his head explaining everything but nothing was coming out properly._

" _Because, I would understand." She reached for his hands. "You liked the feeling of being invincible, of not being just a human. You were supernatural like the rest of us." Stiles's eyes, blinded by tears, narrowed in confusion, and he felt like he was having another panic attack. His lip was still trembling and his mouth was moving as if trying to form words, but no sounds were coming out. "You knew how to fight," Lydia continued as she held his hands in hers. She slowly slid them up his arms, "You were strong." She paused a moment, with hand on his biceps, to emphasize her point, then continued traveling upward until her arms were draped around his shoulders. She leaned up, and pulled him forward until their lips were a millimeter apart. Stiles closed his eyes because she was too close for him to focus on her face."You were fearless." she whispered huskily. Their lips touched slightly as she said the words, and then she was kissing him. Stiles's sucked in a breath as their lips met and it took him a moment to register what was happening. He lifted his arms and put them on her waist and continued to kiss her back, but it didn't last long. **Something feels wrong**_ _he thought suddenly and pushed her away._

" _Wait." He said, then opened his eyes. No one was there and he was no longer standing in the white room. He was in the basement of Eichen House._

" _Lydia? Are you here?"_

" _Here I am." He heard her voice, but couldn't see her._

" _Lydia?" He called again._

" _Over here." Her voice came back. That went on for a bit, their own game of Marco Polo until he was in the hallway where they kept all of the supernatural creatures and Lydia was standing in front of him. She giggled and turned away from him and began running down the hall, and Stiles followed her. She finally disappeared into a room on the right- the one one that Stiles remembered walking into with Lydia a few weeks prior to visit Dr. Valack._

 _When he rounded the corner, he was taken aback by the sight of Lydia Martin sitting behind the thick glass, tied to a chair. Her head was down, but it snapped up and she screamed, "STILES!" Stiles cowered down and covered his ears. He heard the glass shattering around him and when he opened his eyes the setting had changed. It was cool and damp like he was underground. Under the nemeton? He turned to back to where the glass wall had been standing moment before. It was now replaced by bars, like a jail cell. Lydia now had tape around her mouth and her wrists were tied in front of her. She was also not alone. She was being pressed against the bars by none other than Stiles, or the nogitsune in Stiles's body._

" _Let her go!" Stiles yelled._

" _Well, hello, Stiles. It's been awhile."_

" _Not long enough. Now let her go."_

 _Void Stiles laughed. "Now, is that a way to greet an old friend."_

" _We are **not** friends." _

" _Really? I thought we got along great. Remember,"He laughed as if it were recalling an inside joke "All of those late night conversations where I tried to convince you to let me in," The nogitsune laughed harder then wagged his finger at Stiles as he said, "And you said 'no'?!" He continued to laugh as if it was the funniest thing in the world. "You sly devil, you. You were always such the jokester, Stiles. I knew you'd give in eventually. I have to admit though, I did enjoy the chase."_

" _Please, just let her go."_

" _No!" He barked. Then chuckled to himself and lowered his voice when he spoke again, "You know, Stiles, I was thinking. We should do it again. The two of us, reeking havoc on Beacon Hills."_

 _Stiles shook his head, "No, let's not."_

" _Come on, Stiles. Don' t you remember what it was like to be strong? Fearless? Invincible."_

 _His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "It was you." He finally announced._

 _The nogitsune smiled and shrugged, "Guilty. You know, you may have been the jokester, but I'll always the be the trickster." He laughed, "You were so confused, because I mean really, what would Lydia Martin ever see in you?" Stiles sucked in a breath and stole a glance at Lydia, who seemed slightly confused."Oh, I'm sorry. Was that a secret? You know, it's hard to remember these days. I hear how much you love her all the time in your head, I forget who's supposed to know." He feigned a gasp, "Oh, did I say too much?" Stiles was searching his mind for some way to get Lydia out of there. "I don't see any werewolves around this time." Void Stiles taunted. "You're out of divine moves." That wasn't possible. He knew that, he just needed someone to tell him what to do. He needed Lydia._

" _Stiles!" Lydia called out to him. Both Stiles and the nogitsune turned to look at her. The tape was no longer over her mouth._

" _What the hell?" The nogitsune wondered aloud._

 _Stiles asked, "How did you do that?"_

" _I didn't." She told him. "You did. This is your dream, remember?"_

 _That's right! It was a dream. Lydia may have been in his head for real- or maybe she wasn't, maybe he would never know, but he could control what happened in his dream if he just tried._

" _I've got a riddle for you." Stiles told the nogitsune as he closed his eyes. "What gets bigger the more you take away?" Wind began to whip around them even though they weren't outside and the ground began to shake and open up underneath where the nogitsune was standing. The jail cell came down and Lydia ran over to where Stiles was and clung onto him. They watched as Void Stiles fell into the large hole that was forming, but once he was gone, the ground still shook and the wind picked up even more._

" _Stiles, something feels off." The hole continued to get larger and spread out. Stiles tried to think it out of existence, but it wasn't working. They kept backing up, but the hole kept spreading. "What happens if I die in your dreams?" Lydia asked suddenly._

" _What?"_

" _I mean, if I'm in your head, am I even in **my** head? What if whatever happens to me in here, happens to me out there."_

 _Stiles shook his head. "Lydia, I'm honestly not so sure that you're really here. I'm starting to think that this_ _has **all** been in my head."_

" _It hasn't."_

 _Stiles, stepped away from her. "You were an illusion of the nogitsune."_

" _Not the whole time. Up until the lights flickered, that was me!"_

" _No, this is just another trick!" Lydia reached for his hand and Stiles took a step back, losing his footing and slipping into the hole._

 _Lydia screamed. He closed his eyes, bracing for impact, but it never came. He realized there was somebody holding onto his wrist. **Lydia**_ _he thought. He opened his eyes and looked up, only to see himself smiling back with a sinister smile._

 _Stiles began to scream and struggle against the hand holding him when he heard, "Stiles, wake up."_

* * *

"Stiles, calm down. Wake up. I'm here. It's me, Scott."

Stiles opened his eyes and saw his best friend. "Scott?"

"Hey, buddy. Whatcha doing there?" He asked.

Stiles suddenly realized that he was hanging off the the roof and Scott was the only thing keeping him from plummeting downward.. "Woah!" he jumped. "Let me up!" He began to struggle again.

"I've got you." Scott told him as he pulled him up. Once he was back on solid ground the two stepped away from each other.

"So," Stiles said after some silence. "What are you doing here?"

"My mom called me to let me know about Lydia and your dad."

"Figured." Stiles let out a chuckle.

"She uh," Scott started "Also told me what an idiot I was."

"She called you an idiot?"

Scott gave a nervous laugh, "No, I gave myself that title. She uh...She just told me exactly what happened with Donovan."

"Oh," Honestly, Stiles had almost forgotten about all of that. He was just so happy to see Scott, he didn't remember why they were in a fight in the first place.

"Yeah, so Th-" Scott started, but noticed Stiles visibly cringe, so he quickly changed his mind, "He-who-must-not-be-named...didn't exactly give me the same story."

"Surprise, surprise." Stiles nodded.

"But, what I don't get is why you didn't tell me sooner?"

"Because I was afraid you would react the way you did."

"You mean, like an ass? Because that's how I acted."

"You _were_ very ass-like"

They both laughed nervously, sighed, then said "I'm sorry." They looked at each other and motioned to the other, "You go first."

"I'll go first." Stiles said with a chuckle. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what happened sooner. If I could go back and tell you what happened, I would."

"And if I could go back and listen to you about...He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named...I would too. I'm so sorry that I didn't trust you from the beginning. He was bad news and you knew it."

"No, I didn't. I was just paranoid- my paranoia turned out to be justified- but it's not like I have some kind of sixth sense about that kind of thing. Speaking of sixth senses, how did you know to find me up here? The roof isn't exactly the first place I would have checked."

"I was in the room that my mom left you in, and I saw that you weren't there. Then I heard Lydia scream your name." Stiles saw the flash of walking into Valack's room and seeing Lydia tied to the chair. She screamed his name and shattered the glass. "It was like when she screamed Allison's name when the oni..." His voice faded off, but Stiles got the picture. It was a banshee scream. She had seen his death. Maybe she had seen him falling off the roof. "My stomach dropped, I thought that something had happened, but I listened in to see if I could hear you at all, and I heard you mumbling something. It wasn't distinct, but I followed your voice out here, and saw you on the ledge. I got over here just in time. I tried to talk to you but you were backing up like you were scared and saying something about a trick and then you stepped back and..." Scott swallowed. "It all happened in slow motion. I felt like I was glued to the ground and my punishment for not trusting you was having to watch you fall to your death and never be able to apologize. Then I heard Lydia scream again and it pushed me out of my thoughts and I ran forward and grabbed your arm."

"Thank God for Lydia Martin."

"I really hope she'll be okay."

Stiles looked down sadly."Me too."

They were silent for a moment. Scott watched his best friend carefully. He could see the vacancy in his eyes, as if he was thinking about something. Tears were forming and Scott knew what was on Stiles's mind. "I really hope your dad is going to be okay too."

Stiles nodded. His bottom lip trembled and tears fell down his cheeks. Scott went for a hug and Stiles eagerly accepted it. They were guys, and sure, they'd had their moments where they cried in front of each other like when Stiles's mom died, or when Scott's dad left him, or when Scott nearly killed himself in a motel parking lot, or when Stiles had his MRI. But they had never sobbed in front of each other. Until now. Stiles was sobbing. He wasn't sure if it was the crying, just the fact he was with his best friend again, or that his best friend was a werewolf,- _Could werewolves take away emotional pain?-_ but he no longer felt like he was drowning. His head was bobbing above the water. The next wave was just around the corner ready to submerge him once again, but with his best friend by his side, Stiles Stilinski knew he could stay afloat.

 **A/N: So there it is! Again, let me know what you think. Currently there are no plans for any sequels or anything. Mainly, because even though I stopped here, I already know what would happen in a sequel and I don't want it to. Also, I kind of left the Lydia in Stiles's mind thing open to interpretation. It could easily be real or just as easily all in Stile's head. I have my own thoughts on the matter. Thanks for reading! And thanks in advance for all of the lovely reviews you're going to leave me ;)**


End file.
